Sex, sex, sex. After having had Cherie introduce me to the joy of sex I was horny all of the time. One of the best memories I have of LeMars is all of the sex I had with high school, college girls and older women.
Heh, I think the average number of sex partners in a lifetime, back then, was 7. I'd gone way past that before the end of 9th grade. Of course I didn't know that then, or care.
In a way it's kind of sad to think that all of the older college girls and the older, 40-50, females I had sex with could go to jail for sexual abuse nowadays, is astonishing to me. I thought I was one of the luckiest kids in the world that women of all ages were willing and wanted to sleep with me.
I suppose if I were to be totally honest about the whole thing with the older women I wouldn't call it molestation or sexual abuse. I was astounded when someone pointed it out to me that it was. Nah, at least not for me. I think that law should apply more individually than it should as a class.
Lol, I also have a double standard. Girls are different. The law was passed in the first place, to protect girls and smaller children from men. Men knew men didn't need protecting from females. Yes, I know all the arguments against my position. Yes, I know, it's stone age. Yes, I know, times change.
Now I'm not talking about some female molesting a baby or toddler or lower grade schooler. That's wrong no matter what. I decide things on an individual basis. Heh, I know some guys in there 20's that if an older woman of 30 hit on them it would be molestation but I also knew 6th grade boys that were having sex and it wouldn't be for them. Depends on the innocence and experience level I guess. Oh, and turning 18 doesn't make you any less dumb than you were the day before.
Anyway, back to the total honesty. The way I tell the story is that these older women all seduced me. That part is true but it's not the whole story. OTOH I've just come to realize in the last few years how manipulative I really was back then.
I did everything in my power to get those women to seduce me and encouraged it at all times and let them know, in one way or another, that I was very open to the idea. Particularly the ones I was around a lot and could tease.
Only one older woman I ever had anything to do with that I thought was wrong. However that didn't stop me from having oral sex with her multiple times and finally making love to her. Hey, she was 10 years older than me and hot. Really freaking hot. Unfortunately she was also my uncles wife.
So I wasn't particular about girls my age or older women. Nor was I particular about fat or skinny. At least not for sex. I just didn't want anyone to know about the fat ones. Pretty ones, plain ones and even a few ugly ones, that, like the fat ones, I didn't want anyone to know about.
Yes, LeMars is filled with lots of memories of sex. Eventually we'll get to a lot of them. ROTF, I haven't or should say hadn't slept with anyone over 35 since I was 18 or so. Now the last three have been 40, 51 and 54. No different than younger chicks as far as sex goes. ;)
Showing posts with label girls. Show all posts
Showing posts with label girls. Show all posts
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Sex, virginity and how I lost my virginity at 13
As I mentioned previously the kids next door were all about my age. We almost always talked about girls, what sex would be like and who was it most likely we could have sex with.
It's been my experience that every small town has at least one girl with a bad reputation. To put it bluntly a girl who is very easy to get into bed or at least someone easy to get naked.
We all knew who she was and she was very pretty and quite well developed for her age. She was a grade or two ahead of me in school.
On occasion she would come over to the courthouse lawn and talk and flirt with us. She was a masturbation fantasy for a few months. We were always teasing her about showing us her boobs and she wasn't shy about touching them in front of us.
When we were in a private place she wasn't shy about kissing us or letting us touch her outside her clothes. Me and the oldest kid next door for the most part.
She could play and run as fast as we could or even faster so one day when we were teasing her about seeing her breasts she told the 4 of us that if we could catch her she would take all of her clothes off for us.
Now she either didn't try to run to fast of she seriously underestimated how fast a very horny young teenage boy could move when properly motivated. She didn't make it more than about 10 feet before I had her.
She was laughing about it but us boys weren't laughing at all. We just wanted to see her naked as soon as possible. To her credit she very willingly kept her part of the bargain. We just had to find kind of a private place to go where we wouldn't be caught.
She knew of one and took us all there. Lol, it was at the local school back in a hard to get to area where there was a deep concrete walled hole that was part of a window well for one of the rooms in the school basement.
Considering it wasn't a school day and there was no one around we all went there. Us 4 boys were just a bit scared about the whole thing but our curiosity easily overcame our fears about getting caught.
Now Cheri wasn't from a well to do family but as poor or poorer than the rest of us. However she did dress in a very sexy way. It was back in the days when girls would wear those lacy things that made their poodle skirts stand out away from their bodies.
She had four or five of those things on. Petticoats or whatever they were called. Very feminine and to this day seeing someone wearing something like that still turns me on. She also wore a lot of tight sweaters.
She explained the rules to us before she started taking her clothes off and they were very simple. Touching only and none of us could remove any of our clothes or unzip our pants. Naturally we all agreed to her terms without a second thought. She was in control and she knew it.
She was still laughing and giggling at us and how excited we were and playing it as far as she could without actually doing anything. She teased us by pulling her sweater up and letting us see her bra. Damn white cotton thing. Lol, petticoats might turn me on but white cotton bras sure don't, at least they haven't for a very long time.
She's also pull the front of her skirt up and her petticoats and let us see her white cotton panties. They don't do anything for me anymore either. Of course this was in the days before Victoria's Secret or anything else like that. Cotton was the standard.
When they started coming out with more of the satiny panties and bras nothing turned me on more than they did. I just love a chick wearing hot lingerie under her clothes. Particularly when it's matching and pretty or colorful.
Her petticoats, which were about to come off were a different set of pastel colors which was quite daring for a teen girl back then. We messed around and she teased us for what seemed like forever.
I'll tell you how the rest of it went in my next post. She will get naked and I'll have a ton of stress and adrenaline.
It's been my experience that every small town has at least one girl with a bad reputation. To put it bluntly a girl who is very easy to get into bed or at least someone easy to get naked.
We all knew who she was and she was very pretty and quite well developed for her age. She was a grade or two ahead of me in school.
On occasion she would come over to the courthouse lawn and talk and flirt with us. She was a masturbation fantasy for a few months. We were always teasing her about showing us her boobs and she wasn't shy about touching them in front of us.
When we were in a private place she wasn't shy about kissing us or letting us touch her outside her clothes. Me and the oldest kid next door for the most part.
She could play and run as fast as we could or even faster so one day when we were teasing her about seeing her breasts she told the 4 of us that if we could catch her she would take all of her clothes off for us.
Now she either didn't try to run to fast of she seriously underestimated how fast a very horny young teenage boy could move when properly motivated. She didn't make it more than about 10 feet before I had her.
She was laughing about it but us boys weren't laughing at all. We just wanted to see her naked as soon as possible. To her credit she very willingly kept her part of the bargain. We just had to find kind of a private place to go where we wouldn't be caught.
She knew of one and took us all there. Lol, it was at the local school back in a hard to get to area where there was a deep concrete walled hole that was part of a window well for one of the rooms in the school basement.
Considering it wasn't a school day and there was no one around we all went there. Us 4 boys were just a bit scared about the whole thing but our curiosity easily overcame our fears about getting caught.
Now Cheri wasn't from a well to do family but as poor or poorer than the rest of us. However she did dress in a very sexy way. It was back in the days when girls would wear those lacy things that made their poodle skirts stand out away from their bodies.
She had four or five of those things on. Petticoats or whatever they were called. Very feminine and to this day seeing someone wearing something like that still turns me on. She also wore a lot of tight sweaters.
She explained the rules to us before she started taking her clothes off and they were very simple. Touching only and none of us could remove any of our clothes or unzip our pants. Naturally we all agreed to her terms without a second thought. She was in control and she knew it.
She was still laughing and giggling at us and how excited we were and playing it as far as she could without actually doing anything. She teased us by pulling her sweater up and letting us see her bra. Damn white cotton thing. Lol, petticoats might turn me on but white cotton bras sure don't, at least they haven't for a very long time.
She's also pull the front of her skirt up and her petticoats and let us see her white cotton panties. They don't do anything for me anymore either. Of course this was in the days before Victoria's Secret or anything else like that. Cotton was the standard.
When they started coming out with more of the satiny panties and bras nothing turned me on more than they did. I just love a chick wearing hot lingerie under her clothes. Particularly when it's matching and pretty or colorful.
Her petticoats, which were about to come off were a different set of pastel colors which was quite daring for a teen girl back then. We messed around and she teased us for what seemed like forever.
I'll tell you how the rest of it went in my next post. She will get naked and I'll have a ton of stress and adrenaline.
Monday, June 18, 2007
More of life in MN, girls and getting wilder
Basically other people see my life as exciting and I suppose it was but to me it was just normal. When you don't know anything else but drunken parents, beatings, being molested, lying, cheating, stealing and the rest you don;t know the risks you take or anything else.
Nor do you really care. I was still getting great grades in school. I still read all the time and I still fished as much as possible. I was still responsible for my sister quite often and I now cooked for the whole family instead of just my sister and I.
Nothing major and quite boring to me. Lol, just like now except I'm older so the periods of boredom got longer and the adrenaline rushes got harder to come by.
I did finally start to develop an interest in girls while living in Fairmont but it wasn't anything major, yet. Lots of crushes, sneaking peeks in blouses and upskirts, etc. No real dating but I did start hanging out at the teen center and going to kids dances, etc.
I had money all of the time and would spend a lot of it at the pizza place with me and my friends. Little did they know that the vast majority of it was stolen from one place or another. Girls liked me but I still mostly ignored them and hung by myself or with other boys.
I hated going to other peoples birthday parties and I never had one, as a kid. Why would I? My mother never gave a damn if I lived or died so having anything for me was out of the question. Naturally my sister had one every year and got to invite all of her friends.
Christmas and Thanksgiving always sucked. Parents were always drunk and if aunts and uncles came they were always drunk too. My sister would get tons of stuff and I'd get about a third as much as she did. I hate holidays to this day. The 14 yrs I tried to be normal I always volunteered to work on Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years.
Lol, told my wife I had to work as all the people I worked with had kids. That meant we'd have our celebrations on other days. I still hate those holidays.
Did you notice there was no fathers day post? At best I was neutral about both my father and stepfather. Neither did me major harm, unless you consider the beatings and mental abuse on occasion but that wasn't enough to make me despise them like I did my mother. As I said, I knew nothing else so it was normal.
Nor do you really care. I was still getting great grades in school. I still read all the time and I still fished as much as possible. I was still responsible for my sister quite often and I now cooked for the whole family instead of just my sister and I.
Nothing major and quite boring to me. Lol, just like now except I'm older so the periods of boredom got longer and the adrenaline rushes got harder to come by.
I did finally start to develop an interest in girls while living in Fairmont but it wasn't anything major, yet. Lots of crushes, sneaking peeks in blouses and upskirts, etc. No real dating but I did start hanging out at the teen center and going to kids dances, etc.
I had money all of the time and would spend a lot of it at the pizza place with me and my friends. Little did they know that the vast majority of it was stolen from one place or another. Girls liked me but I still mostly ignored them and hung by myself or with other boys.
I hated going to other peoples birthday parties and I never had one, as a kid. Why would I? My mother never gave a damn if I lived or died so having anything for me was out of the question. Naturally my sister had one every year and got to invite all of her friends.
Christmas and Thanksgiving always sucked. Parents were always drunk and if aunts and uncles came they were always drunk too. My sister would get tons of stuff and I'd get about a third as much as she did. I hate holidays to this day. The 14 yrs I tried to be normal I always volunteered to work on Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years.
Lol, told my wife I had to work as all the people I worked with had kids. That meant we'd have our celebrations on other days. I still hate those holidays.
Did you notice there was no fathers day post? At best I was neutral about both my father and stepfather. Neither did me major harm, unless you consider the beatings and mental abuse on occasion but that wasn't enough to make me despise them like I did my mother. As I said, I knew nothing else so it was normal.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Depression and my headaches are back
I don't know if it's my depression, the weather or what but I'm back to having headaches almost everyday. I don't like it as I haven't had them like this for a long time. Nothing major is going wrong, nothing much has changed in the last month so no explanation.
While I did decide to stay where I am for another month I think I'll be leaving after that. It's not impossible that getting to be such friends with mama T, K and baby T are what's making me think I should move on.
I have a habit of pushing people away when they get to close to me because I don't trust them not to hurt me eventually. Mama T and I get a little closer everyday and that's scary. Baby T really likes me and that's scary. K likes me and we get along fine.
I've said before I don't know how to deal with this stuff and the emotions it causes. Maybe that's why my headaches are back so often. Maybe it's because they think I'm so damn nice and if they knew my history they'd not like me at all.
There aren't many people around who'd call me a nice person. A few but not many. Most would call me an asshole at best and kids shouldn't read the worst so I won't say it. Problem is underneath all the hard ass, push people away, don't take any shit, is a nice person.
I just never let people see it because when they do the vast majority have tried to take advantage of me one way or another or have used what they know to hurt me. Part of my upbringing I guess but it's just easier for me not to have people get to close to me or be to close to me.
I've been trying to figure out why I like babies or kids better than adults and girls better than boys. Baby girls are one way for chicks to get to me. I suspect it has something to do with one of my ex girlfriends from 35 years ago giving up my baby girl for adoption.
Most of the time when people ask me if I have kids I just say no rather than bother to explain it to them. People have been asking me that a lot lately and the only one I told the truth to was mama T. I expect she told K and her mother, sisters and cousins but that's okay.
For some reason she talks to them a lot about me. Even tho I can't speak her language I can understand my own name and a word here and there. I can also understand voice tone and body language. I don't know why she tells them so much about me but she does.
I'm not even sure if I like it or not. I'm a very private person. Well, I was until I started this blog. Still am anonymous tho, just not private. Some days writing this is depressing.
This is one of those days. Considering I just took pain pills for my headache I guess that's about enough of this. Besides, it's stressful too.
While I did decide to stay where I am for another month I think I'll be leaving after that. It's not impossible that getting to be such friends with mama T, K and baby T are what's making me think I should move on.
I have a habit of pushing people away when they get to close to me because I don't trust them not to hurt me eventually. Mama T and I get a little closer everyday and that's scary. Baby T really likes me and that's scary. K likes me and we get along fine.
I've said before I don't know how to deal with this stuff and the emotions it causes. Maybe that's why my headaches are back so often. Maybe it's because they think I'm so damn nice and if they knew my history they'd not like me at all.
There aren't many people around who'd call me a nice person. A few but not many. Most would call me an asshole at best and kids shouldn't read the worst so I won't say it. Problem is underneath all the hard ass, push people away, don't take any shit, is a nice person.
I just never let people see it because when they do the vast majority have tried to take advantage of me one way or another or have used what they know to hurt me. Part of my upbringing I guess but it's just easier for me not to have people get to close to me or be to close to me.
I've been trying to figure out why I like babies or kids better than adults and girls better than boys. Baby girls are one way for chicks to get to me. I suspect it has something to do with one of my ex girlfriends from 35 years ago giving up my baby girl for adoption.
Most of the time when people ask me if I have kids I just say no rather than bother to explain it to them. People have been asking me that a lot lately and the only one I told the truth to was mama T. I expect she told K and her mother, sisters and cousins but that's okay.
For some reason she talks to them a lot about me. Even tho I can't speak her language I can understand my own name and a word here and there. I can also understand voice tone and body language. I don't know why she tells them so much about me but she does.
I'm not even sure if I like it or not. I'm a very private person. Well, I was until I started this blog. Still am anonymous tho, just not private. Some days writing this is depressing.
This is one of those days. Considering I just took pain pills for my headache I guess that's about enough of this. Besides, it's stressful too.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
How do you deal with good things or caring people?
Some very nice things happened today and I'm not used to it. In particular I'm not used to people being happy to see me or even caring about me. Just a tad bit weird at my age.
I was surprised the 14 month old even remembered me but she tried to climb the counter to get on my side so I could hold her and play with her. Even had a fit when her mother told her I was to tired to hold her.
T said she was having company and I was welcome to come over and eat with them. I probably should have said yes but I didn't. Then she had to tell me everything the baby has done for the last 8 days and how much she missed me after I left. Then I got to hear the story of mom having to drive 60 miles round trip because the cell phone I gave the baby got left in the wrong car and baby threw a fit for 2 days. Lol, typical female. Can't go without her phone.
Then her husband was nice enough to help me carry all of my stuff up to the second floor. Both of them are really great people and the baby is so spoiled. I don't help tho. Baby sits on my lap every morning and plays with me and my glasses and hat, etc. while I have coffee and talk with her mother.
None of this is particularly normal for me so I try to just be nice and polite. It's more normal for me to avoid people, chit chat and all that goes with it. Says way to much about my life that I don't know how to deal with truly nice people. As a rule I'd rather deal with kids as it's more straight forward. They haven't developed phoniness yet and are, at times, to honest or blunt.
When I was about 25 or so I lived with my cousins parents for awhile. I was pretty much a drunk at the time and in trouble most of the time. They'd gotten me a construction job and I was paying them a little bit for rent.
Naturally I was as big a srewup there as I was everywhere else. The rule was I wasn't supposed to drink while I was there. Small problem as every Saturday afternoon the crew went to the bar to have a couple of beers and get checks cashed.
I got out of it the first time but after that I went and because it was a bar and I was a drunk naturally I got drunk. I was big into self medication back then. Lol, one thing I have learned is the doctors have better drugs than alcohol.
Anyway, the next morning when I was getting ready to go to work my uncle called me into the kitchen and calmly talked to me about the rules and explained that my getting drunk wouldn't be tolerated. So I went to the bar with the crew again the next week. I suppose to test to see if he meant what he said.
So we had another talk and he told me how much him and my aunt cared about me and wanted me to do well and be well and this was my last chance. After that he started chewing my ass for almost everything. I deserved it tho as I wasn't helping around the place at all. Just fishing and working.
Then he sat me down and talked to me again about responsibility and helping out and all that normal stuff that I really knew nothing about. I finally asked him why he didn't just leave me alone and he said because he and my aunt liked me and cared about me and it was about time someone besides my grandmother had shown me some caring and concern.
They kept caring and I kept screwing up. Didn't get drunk again tho. I'd have two and leave. I used to be predictable as to how many drinks I could have and still leave the bar. Two was the limit. If I had three I'd be there all night or until I was broke, whichever came first.
Then I got hurt and messed up my vertebrae in my neck and ended up drawing Workman's comp for about 3 months. Since I couldn't work and had money I went and got drunk. My uncle threw me out when I sobered up the next day. We talked first tho and he still wanted to know why I was the way I was and didn't I realize they both cared about me.
I think my reply shocked both of us. It was simply "I don't know how to deal with people who care about me." and I really didn't.
Just like I don't know how to deal with really nice people.
Funny but the girls I go out with have the same problem and that leaves me with the same problem my uncle had with me. I know why they don't believe I care about them and I know the feeling well but I don't understand it in them. I also know they keep doing some of the things they do just to test to see if I will still care about them. Bad part is, I do still care but if I let them get away with it then it just gets worse.
At least I know how to deal with them. Nice or caring people confuse me.
I was surprised the 14 month old even remembered me but she tried to climb the counter to get on my side so I could hold her and play with her. Even had a fit when her mother told her I was to tired to hold her.
T said she was having company and I was welcome to come over and eat with them. I probably should have said yes but I didn't. Then she had to tell me everything the baby has done for the last 8 days and how much she missed me after I left. Then I got to hear the story of mom having to drive 60 miles round trip because the cell phone I gave the baby got left in the wrong car and baby threw a fit for 2 days. Lol, typical female. Can't go without her phone.
Then her husband was nice enough to help me carry all of my stuff up to the second floor. Both of them are really great people and the baby is so spoiled. I don't help tho. Baby sits on my lap every morning and plays with me and my glasses and hat, etc. while I have coffee and talk with her mother.
None of this is particularly normal for me so I try to just be nice and polite. It's more normal for me to avoid people, chit chat and all that goes with it. Says way to much about my life that I don't know how to deal with truly nice people. As a rule I'd rather deal with kids as it's more straight forward. They haven't developed phoniness yet and are, at times, to honest or blunt.
When I was about 25 or so I lived with my cousins parents for awhile. I was pretty much a drunk at the time and in trouble most of the time. They'd gotten me a construction job and I was paying them a little bit for rent.
Naturally I was as big a srewup there as I was everywhere else. The rule was I wasn't supposed to drink while I was there. Small problem as every Saturday afternoon the crew went to the bar to have a couple of beers and get checks cashed.
I got out of it the first time but after that I went and because it was a bar and I was a drunk naturally I got drunk. I was big into self medication back then. Lol, one thing I have learned is the doctors have better drugs than alcohol.
Anyway, the next morning when I was getting ready to go to work my uncle called me into the kitchen and calmly talked to me about the rules and explained that my getting drunk wouldn't be tolerated. So I went to the bar with the crew again the next week. I suppose to test to see if he meant what he said.
So we had another talk and he told me how much him and my aunt cared about me and wanted me to do well and be well and this was my last chance. After that he started chewing my ass for almost everything. I deserved it tho as I wasn't helping around the place at all. Just fishing and working.
Then he sat me down and talked to me again about responsibility and helping out and all that normal stuff that I really knew nothing about. I finally asked him why he didn't just leave me alone and he said because he and my aunt liked me and cared about me and it was about time someone besides my grandmother had shown me some caring and concern.
They kept caring and I kept screwing up. Didn't get drunk again tho. I'd have two and leave. I used to be predictable as to how many drinks I could have and still leave the bar. Two was the limit. If I had three I'd be there all night or until I was broke, whichever came first.
Then I got hurt and messed up my vertebrae in my neck and ended up drawing Workman's comp for about 3 months. Since I couldn't work and had money I went and got drunk. My uncle threw me out when I sobered up the next day. We talked first tho and he still wanted to know why I was the way I was and didn't I realize they both cared about me.
I think my reply shocked both of us. It was simply "I don't know how to deal with people who care about me." and I really didn't.
Just like I don't know how to deal with really nice people.
Funny but the girls I go out with have the same problem and that leaves me with the same problem my uncle had with me. I know why they don't believe I care about them and I know the feeling well but I don't understand it in them. I also know they keep doing some of the things they do just to test to see if I will still care about them. Bad part is, I do still care but if I let them get away with it then it just gets worse.
At least I know how to deal with them. Nice or caring people confuse me.
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