Really depressed in Sioux City, Iowa

As I said before my father wanted me to stay and my mother forced me to leave with her and my sister. I did my best not to go with her but I was little and I lost the battle. So we moved to Sioux City, Iowa to live with my mothers parents.

They lived in a small 1 bedroom apt which was fine for them but when you added 3 more people it was almost as bad as living in the house behind my paternal grandmothers. The only thing that made it better was my grandparents had tv and an inside bathroom.

I have no idea how to describe the area in politcally correct terms but it was not an upscale area. West 8th and Perry is as close as I can remember. For me it was pretty much culture shock and way, way to many people.

I'd seldom been out of the area I was born in and have no real memories of traveling anywhere except to the lake and stopping at places that were near the lake. TV was something I'd seldom seen and people who were any color but white were totally new to me. I didn't even know they existed.

Several of the chicks I've dated have remarked that I'm one of the few people they know who just isn't much concerned about color. We've even had conversations about why that is. I suspect that growing up without hearing a prejudice word about anyone may have had a lot to do with it that and the fact I didn't know anyone or have any opinions.

Still don't have any opinions for that matter. To me chicks are chicks and I like them all. Some better than others but that has more to do with personality than anything else. For the last several years I've dated more non white girls than anyone else. I was shocked when one girl asked me if I would go out with and be seen in public with her. My reply was why wouldn't I? You are beautiful, intelligent and fun and I'd be proud to be seen with you anywhere.

Her reply was, but I'm black. Lol, she was right about that. She was not light skinned or even medium toned, she was about as black as it gets. I told her not a problem for me and that most people would think it was a bigger problem that she was 35 years younger than me and 6 inches taller. Big freaking deal, she's a girl and I'm a guy and that's all that mattered.

Carmen put me to the test and we went out a few times. Held hands, kissed in public, walked arm in arm and did everything I'd do with any girl I went out with. We don't see each other anymore but that's because she moved to a different area of the country. I hope she finds a nice guy and has a great life because she's a nice girl and she deserves it.

Anyway, to get back to the subject. We moved to what was a very poor or depressed area. You'll never guess who lived next door. Two black families with kids my age. We played together every day for almost 18 months without a problem. Well, with the usual problems kids have with each other but nothing about color at all.

I also met Hispanic, Asian and Native American kids and never had problems with any of them either. We were all poor, we were all kids and we all played together. To this day I'm thankful that I met all of them and that we all had fun together.

Funny, baby T's heritage is 100% from India. Her mom has been here 7 or 9 yrs and her dad for a couple. Tonight she and I met 4 of the most gorgeous, polite, well behaved little girls I've met in a long time. Absolutely wonderful kids. So we have a little Indian girl leading an old white guy around and baby T talking to 4 children of the maintenance guy at the motel who just happen to be black. He and I have talked a few times but I'd never met his kids before. To me this is life as it should be.

Anyway, life in Sioux City was a bit better but still not great. I didn't get beat as much because my mother didn't dare do it on front of my grandfather. I never got the impression he liked me tho. Just tolerated me. I still got slapped, hit, pinched and beat, just not around my grandfather and seldom in front of my grandmother.

My grandmother hit me a time or two and one time she grabbed my arm so hard she left puncture marks with all 5 of her finger nails. She cried and she never hit or grabbed me that way again. Still, both favored my sister over me and I knew that. Hey, at least I had friends to play with and tv to watch.

So we moved and my life got a little better. The best thing was I wasn't being molested several times a week or more and I wasn't being beat 3/4ths to death. I was still depressed, missed my dad and my grandparents a lot and had even less than I'd had before.

Hell of a way to learn that a bike that's to big, to old and falling apart is better than no bike at all. That living close to a library is a good thing and having lakes to go to was even better. I didn't have much in Minnesota and I had even less in Iowa.

I don't remember being as depressed there but I still stayed out of the way of adults when it was possible. So my adventure being out in the real world begins.