Church, pool halls and my mother

Somewhere along the way my mother decided my problem was I needed to go to church more often. The family seldom went to church due to massive hangovers on Sunday mornings. Lol, if it was planned to go I might sneak into my parents room and set the clocks ahead so when they woke up they'd think it was to late.

I didn't like church. It was long, boring and full of hypocrites.Still is as near as I can tell. Of course I haven't been there in a while but I meet a lot of people who say they are religous. Same old hypocritical crap from them that I'd see in church.

Love thy neighbor but not that one, she's a loose woman, not that one because he drinks to much, not that one because .....judgemental, petty and nothing like God or Jesus instructed people to be. Lol, I don't happen to believe in a god and I'm better at doing what the bible teachs than most who go to church. That's pathetic.

Anyway, my mother decided church was going to save me so the 4 of us started going to church. After we'd lived in LeMars for a few months I discovered that the guy who owned the pool room and chicken restaurant needed someone to run the pool room on Sunday morning while he was at church. Lol, he was a good Catholic don't ya know. I think the only time he was ever sober was Sunday morning.

So we'd all head off to church together and I'd tell my mother I was going to wait for one of my friends, outside and then after church we ware going to his house. As soon as they got in the door I'd run for the pool hall and open it up. Didn't pay much but I did get to shoot pool the rest of the week for free and got a discount on all food and pop plus I made about 2 bucks.

I had that job for about 4-5 months before my mother realized I wasn't ever in church. Lol, got beat again for skipping out on church. She was really pissed because she'd bought me a new suit and we'd argued forever over what it was going to look like. She wanted me to have a conservative navy blue and I wanted the one with the red suit jacket and black pants. Also got an extra pair of gray pants with it.

I've hated to wear a suit or tie since I was a little kid. Can't wear a tie at all nor a turtle neck because that little pressure on my throat makes me feel like I'm being choked. Reminds me to much of things that happened to me. Whatever. I did get the suit with the ed jacket tho.
I had the pimpiest suit jacket in town. There wasn't anything conservative about it at all. I thought it was cool. My mother hated it. I was happy with that.

Then one day she decided that my sister and I needed to be baptized. Argh. Not something I cared about back then and besides, at my age, 13, it was embarrassing. Jesus may have said suffer the little children unto me but my mothers idea for me was that children ought to suffer.
I had no use for a god that would let happen to children, the things that were done to me. All merciful my ass, the only one that needed mercy was my mother and I hope after she died she got exactly what she deserved. If she did it sure wasn't mercy.

So I ended up going to church and getting baptized. I also had to go to the damn confirmation class every Saturday morning. That was just another thing I didn't care about. The minister used to bother me by making me stay awake, asking me silly questions, etc.

I got back at him the same way I get at other religous idiots. I asked him questions I knew he couldn't answer directly and I refused to accept the fact that I had to have faith to understand. What I understood was that I was supposed to believe something just because adults told me it wa so.

These are the exact same adults that told me about the Easter bunny, Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, etc. These are the same adults who beat me, molested me or allowed it to happen. Why would any sane person believe anything any of these people said about some god who was supposed to love us all.

If he loved me so damn much where was he when I was very young? Nowhere that I could see. Nowhere that I could be convinced he even existed.

Anyway, I got confirmed and then never went to church again for years. Still never go to church unless it's for a wedding or funeral or I have a girlfriend that decides I have to go and I care enough about her to make the effort.

Funny how they fall under the rule of say what you mean and do what you say. Actions speak louder than words and saying how religous you are with out the actions to back it up just means you are a hypocrite and a liar. I don't, as a rule associate with liars or others who don't do what they say so church is not a big thing in my reality.