Friday, October 26, 2007

Stress and quitting smoking cigarettes

I'm trying to quit smoking, again. Yep, side trip. Sorry about that. Nah, not really, I just don't want to write about any old crap today and get more stressed. Quitting smoking is enough stress for any one person to deal with in one day.

I've smoked since I was 8 yrs old. Of course, not as heavy back then but I was up to 4 packs a day when I drove truck. I can smoke that much while working on my PC too.

Yeah, I know, smoking will kill ya. After 52 years of smoking I think I've got that part down. I'm pretty sure it's what's going to kill me too. I have a severe case of COPD. However it didn't help that I've been in asbestos dust a couple of times, without a mask.

Whatever, doesn't matter. I lost 50 pounds in a little over 2 years from the COPD. Dr. told me there wasn't much she could do about the weight loss except tell me to eat. Lol, she knows I smoke weed when I'm in a lot of pain and she obliquely suggested a little more might help me gain weight back. Lol, it hasn't.

Yeah, been smoking weed since I was 14 or 15 but not as much back then. I was a drunk and weed made me puke when I was drinking.

Anyway, smoking is going to kill me eventually. Heart attack or stroke. Other than a spinal problem at C6 and of course the damn COPD, I'm in great shape health wise. Cholesterol is normal, BP is fine. No real problems anywhere.

Whatever, ya gotta die from something and I enjoyed it for years. Started out smoking filtered cigs but other kids kept bumming them from me so I switched to non filtered. Then no one bummed them

I smoked Camel straights for years and when they started to hurt my throat I switched to Pall Mall straights and then to Doral straights and now to just plain old whatever is cheapest and non filtered.

No, I'm not whining about it either. It was a choice I made and one I continued with even after I knew it was dangerous. Damn nicotine is hard to kick. From what I've read harder than Heroin. I've never been addicted to heroin so I don't know. Been addicted to Codeine a few times and that wasn't to tough.

Cigarettes are a lot tougher to quit. They are more easily available and your mind tells you lies about just having one. Lol, I know, I'm a dumb ass for believing the lies my mind tells me. However having one does get rid of all the stress that builds up and the craving and headaches.

So I'm trying hard this time. No, not cold turkey and no patch or crap. Tried to start Zyban again and that just messed me up for sex. Heh, no brainer there, sex is gonna win over most anti depressants. However my breathing is so bad now that smoking caused interference. Sheesh.

I figured if I quit now I might be able to have sex a few more years. Yes, I know, I should have thought of that the first time I couldn't breathe well during sex. Hey, it was a long time ago and I really didn't expect to live this long.

The Chinese about have the lung thing figured out with stem cell research so if I last long enough and can afford it that might help.

I'll be through with cigarettes forever in 17 more days. For once I'm going to win this one with my mind. Like they say, if you smoke, QUIT, if you don't smoke, DON'T START.

Unless you want to end up like me.

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