I wonder why

I wonder why I'm having such a hard time putting this part of my life down. I try to maintain at least a scheduled of 3 posts per week. At that pace if I live another 5 years I might get it all in. Then again, maybe not, some really interesting crap has been happening lately.

Things worthy of being written about. I've changed more than a few lives in the last few months, mine included. I've also caused some changes in peoples perceptions and particularly in kids perceptions of life and how it is.

Lol, I guess I'm living on the edge and don't know it. It doesn't look like an edge, to me. Doesn't feel like it either but I'm a definite oddity in the circles I associate with. I don't think of it often but now and then I have to laugh at people's reactions.

For some reason I see life as one big adventure after another. Some of them are fun, some of them aren't. Sometimes it sucks, sometimes it's great. Sometimes, when you think it sucks, in reflection, it was really great.

What ever. Sheesh, I've had a lot of things going on and a lot to think about. Any excuse not to have to write on my life story. Makes me wonder what's sneaking up on me, in my memories. Perhaps it's just because, for a very long time I'm going to be the person your mother warned you about.

Even worse. After thinking about it a lot it seems my only redeeming quality was kids liked me. Lol, I don't know why that is but kids still like me, today. For some reason they see past what others see as a gruff exterior. Hmmm, might still be my only redeeming feature. Nah, I still do nice things for others. I have other redeeming features now. I grew up a bit, I guess.

What bothers me most of all is "why should I give a damn what any one else thinks?" yet I seem to. Geez, ya think I might be so abnormal as to crave approval? Sheesh, I think I've become one of the twenty somethings I've been dating.

Anyway, I had to write something, even it was an excuse. No, I don't crave approval and just in case I do, I factored it in. I'll probably tell some funny stories about doing dumb things that make me look really stupid and hope the funniness makes everyone forget the stupidity.

Hmmm, maybe it's because I don't want everyone to think I'm stupid. If making stupid choices makes me stupid then I guess I'm stupid. I'll bet I had one hell of a lot more fun than you did though.