What does a stressed and depressed person do for fun

I told you in an earlier post that I should have been a hermit. I still believe I'd have been much happier if I would have been. I learned at a very young age to stay out of my parents way as much as possible. I may have been abused, stressed and totally depressed but I was still smart enough to know that if I wasn't around people I couldn't be hurt.

When I was little I learned to read very quickly and it was something I could go hide and do without fear. Reading also took me away from my circumstances and let me put myself in the place of the person in the book.

I wouldn't say I read a lot but there was an article in the local paper about me because by the age of 6 I'd already read every children's book in the town library. I actually had to bring a permission slip from my mother so I could get more advanced books to read.

I still read everyday. As far as I'm concerned reading is way more than fundamental. It's the thing that needs to be taught most. If you can read you can do anything. I buy kids I meet books and if I know them well enough I will sit and read to them.

Besides, it was something that kept me out of trouble and something I could do by myself.

I fished because I could do it alone. I loved to fish, I loved being outside and I loved being alone. I still fish, mostly alone but not always. I created a fishing forum at Fishing Eastern South Dakota where I tell some of my tips and tricks I've learned over the years. Lol, if fishing was slow I'd bring a book. ;)

I love to drive and in my past I drove semi nationwide for a couple of years. Nice solitary job and no one to bother me. I still love to get into my car and just ride around, alone. I think nothing of driving a thousand miles to go do something and I love the solitude of driving by myself. It calms me and lets me free up most of my mind for other things. I've had some of my best ideas while driving.

When the net came along I fell in love. It's another thing that is pretty much a solitary thing. It allows me to read, accumulate knowledge and be alone at the same time.

People constantly tell me I spend to much time alone bit it keeps me from being hurt or having to deal with the rampant stupidity I encounter when I have to go out in public. Lol, yes, I know, I also can't be rejected or hurt if I'm alone.

Oh, yeah, I also like to listen to R & B and that's a recent thing because all I used to listen to was golden oldies. I've come to love Beyonce, Mary J Blige, Ciara and many others who sing similar music.

All of these solitary things keep my stress levels down and keep me much calmer and serene. Fear of rejection sucks and is quite depressing when you know it and find it hard to get over it. It's also depressing.

Still, all in all, the way I am, I'd have been much happier as a hermit. Give me access to the net, tv, food, the library of congress and a woman two days a month and I'd be totally happy.

That's pathetic and I know it but it's also how I am.