Sunday, April 29, 2007

Depression and the placebo effect of some drugs

Because I've been depressed most of my life and because my mind has never seemed to work like anyone else's I've always been interested in anything to do with the mind. I love it that the net came along so when I want to know something I can just look it up and that's what I did with the placebo effect.

I've known about it for a long, long time but when I started reading about it I was surprised to find that it has reached as high as 60% and more in clinical trials against real drugs. Sometimes even working better than the drugs being tested.

I was curious if anyone had tested the people who show a lot of affect from placebos and if they had mapped the minds of the people. What kind of research was being done on the placebo effect and could it possibly be affecting me?

Now I trust my doctor Dawn more than anyone else because she's always been honest with me so when she tells me something will work I believe her. OTOH if I tell her something isn't working for me she believes me. So that makes the short answer yes but only because I believe in and trust her. The longer answer is not likely because of the different effects of the drugs we have tried.

Then again I do read the side effects of all drugs so the placebo effect could be affecting me even in the side effects. I don't like anything that keeps me awake and I really won't take anything anymore that causes a lack of sexual interest or poor performance. I'd rather be depressed and able to function sexually than not depressed and have to take pills to get an erection.

The Zoloft I'm on now seems to be working, it does help me to be able to sleep and it doesn't bother me at all sexually. It's not the newest drug around but it does seem to be working for me when the others didn't or caused side effects I didn't like.

I was taking the drug before I met baby T but she seems to have had as great or even a greater effect than the drug does. She and I went out for a walk again today and instead of carrying her she held my hand. That little 16 month old girl flat wore me out with her excitement and her hurry up lets go see this and this and this and this. It was less work carrying her around the day before because I could do it at my pace. She's as attached to me as I am to her. Poor baby cries when I leave to get some work done.

Her mom and I laugh that she is so attached to me because her mom says she just doesn't get attached to people like she is to me. I wouldn't know because the first time she saw me she tried to climb over the counter to me. She gets excited when she sees me thru the window when I go over for coffee in the mornings.

What I do know is she is helping me get over being as depressed as I was and that it's not a placebo effect. Sheesh, so much energy in such a little package. I wish I had it. I do know that when I finally leave here I am going to remember her more than anyone else.

She's helping me, talking with her mom and being friends with her mom and dad is helping me and I can tell you for sure that's no placebo effect.

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