And my great life continued into depression

Back to what this is supposed to be about. My being depressed for the vast majority of my life. Not that the other posts don't have anything to do with it, they do but they are things that I chose because of being depressed. Some were great choices, some weren't. However they were my choices.

Some of the choices were made because of the environment I lived in, some were made because I was depressed and some I just let happen. Lol, not making a choice is a choice. Because I believe strongly in personal responsibility I really can't blame my environment for the choices I made but the ones I did make worked for that environment.

As for the choices I made while deeply or clinically depressed I suppose I could plead diminished responsibility or inability to think clearly. Problem with that one is I don't believe it. Whatever decisions I made, depressed or not are also my responsibility.

Lol, got sidetracked again. Might as well stay there as I have another thing I know but I don't understand.

For some reason people tell me their deepest and some times darkest secrets. They tell me things I don't want to know and don't care about. Everyone from very close friends(I have none of those at this point) to acquaintances to perfect strangers tell me things.

People who get close to me know I can keep a secret better than most people. They trust me to keep their secrets and I do keep them. Sometimes I use the secrets in one way or another because they are to good not to but no one knows this and I never compromise anyone when I do use what I've learned. I've won a bit of money this way and also fairly made a bit.

The fact that people close to me know I can keep a secret explains why they might tell me things but that sure doesn't explain why acquaintances and strangers do it. Sheesh even paranoid people tell me things they shouldn't.

Perhaps I have an honest face, I don't know. Maybe they trust me for the same reason kids do. I sure don't know why that is either. Funny example of this is the 15 month old where I'm staying now. She can't talk yet for the most part. Mama, dada and the like but not real talk. She is quite capable of making her wishes and wants known tho.

Anyway, the other night I was leaning up against the counter, her mom was on the other side and we were talking. Her dad came into the part of the room I was in and the baby was over by him probably 3 feet from him and 15 feet or so from me. There was a huge crack of thunder and it really scared her.

However she didn't run to her dad who was a lot closer nor did she holler for her mom who was on the other side of the counter. She ran to me, got between me and the counter, wrapped her little arms around my legs and refused to let go. Even when her dad tried to talk her into letting go she wouldn't. I finally picked her up and held her and she calmed down and finally wanted to go to her mother.

Why she trusted me to protect her more than she trusted her dad is beyond me. She hardly knows me. All I know is she was very scared and she reacted by running to me instead of the closer safety she could have had. I'm sure this hurt her dad.

Yet what baby T did is no different to me than people telling me their innermost secrets when they barely know me. I just don't get it.

Oh well, tomorrow I'll get back to my early life.