Molestation survivor stories and molested as I slept

Molestation survivor stories like mine have always made me wonder why do people molest children. I was molested sleeping by men and, much to my surprise, molested by women while awake. Of course I never considered that molestation.

Being molested as I slept, by the worst of the bunch, my second youngest uncle, made me not want to sleep while I was at my grandmothers, if he was there. I'd stay out all night, stay awake and whatever it took to keep him away from me.

The same year I hit my mother back I put an end to being molested by my uncle. It wasn't even all that hard.

I was sleeping one night and he had come over to my bed and crawled in with me. When I woke up he was touching me. When he realized I was awake he increased his efforts and started whispering in my ear.

While he was touching me and jerking me off he took my hand and put it on his crotch. I knew I was angry about what he was doing and I'd been with a girl that night before I came home. Man, girls were my salvation. Because my body and mind responded to what my uncle did I always thought I was gay.

I didn't know, at the time, that your body would respond even if you didn't want it too. Girls just made me feel good and it was a huge relief to discover I liked them touching me and I hated men touching me.

Anyway, I was laying there, very angry, and he tried to push my head down. I pretended I was going to and slid my hand down to his crotch. Then came the major surprise, for him, not me. I grabbed his balls and squeezed them as hard as I could and put my other hand around his throat and squeezed it too. As hard as I could.

He started to try to get away and I told him if he moved I'd kill him right then and there. I also told him if he ever touched me again, came anywhere near my bed or even woke me up by sitting on the edge of my bed I'd kill him.

Now when someone has you by the balls and the throat you tend to cooperate, a lot. I was no longer going to be molested as I slept and I'm still here to tell my molestation survivor stories. He wasn't the only one but he was the worst one.

I don't know how much his balls swelled up but there were bruises on his throat when he came down for breakfast the next morning and he was a little hoarse.

Naturally he was stupid enough to get drunk one night and try again. I hit him in the face three times before he even knew what happened. He told everyone the next morning he got drunk the night before and fell down. I laughed out loud when he told that lie.

So not only did I put an end to my mother beating me I put an end to my uncle molesting me. What pissed me off most, and still does, is other adults knew he was a child molester and didn't do a damn thing about it.

As us kids got older and started talking about it a little bit we discovered he'd molested almost every kid on his side of the family and his wife's side. One of my cousins had his head lined up in the crosshairs of his .270 one day and didn't pull the trigger. He doesn't know how close he came to dying, not just then but from me too.

Most of the people in my family who didn't stop him are now dead. The vast majority I didn't talk to for most of my life. I suspect all the abuse is what made me so damn independent and so determined to not need anyone for anything because no one was there for me when I needed them.

It's not even something I talked about very much until I was damn near 50. Being molested just messes up your whole life. They didn't have therapy back then like they do now. Perhaps if someone had helped me I wouldn't have lead the life I lead.

What my childhood taught me was if you are tough, hard and mean no one will mess with you. By the time I was 18 most people considered me crazy or insane. They weren't wrong. I didn't care what I did if someone pissed me off and I didn't care what kind of damage my body had to take to make them stop messing with me.

Didn't make any difference if it was verbally or physically. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! Now I'm old, can't fight, can't run but I still want to be left alone. I'm not friendly and I have no friends and it doesn't bother me to much, most of the time.

If I never learned anything else from my childhood I did learn that you couldn't trust those who said they loved you and those who were supposed to protect you. If you know a kid who is being molested help them. If you were a victim of molestation then help others who were.