Around 1987 I finally made some major changes in my life. Some of my rules changed then too. They've changed since then and I expect will change until I die. However they are quite simple.
- Don't lie
- Don't cheat
- Don't steal
- Don't hurt others
- Be reliable
- Say what you mean and mean what you say
- Treat others with respect
- Do the right thing
Pretty simple stuff and pretty basic. Those are the rules I live by and it's how I expect others to treat me. While I live by those rules I only live by them with people who don't do those things to me. If you lie to me then in my reality it's okay for me to lie to you, etc.
Those rules are why I no longer have any girlfriends. Those rules are why I sold everything and went on a permanent vacation. Took me awhile to realize that almost everyone I dealt with before I left, including girlfriends, was doing two or more of those things to me and I was doing them back.
That's not the kind of person I want to be so I changed everything by changing my environment. As you know, I've done it before so not a real problem. When things get so bad that I don't like me it's really time to change things. So I did.
Now I'm not near as depressed as I was and I like myself a lot more than I did 6 months ago. That's a good thing. I probably should make another rule about getting people out of my life the first time they do it to me but then I might as well be a hermit.
I wouldn't mind that at all but it doesn't work very well. So here I am trying to figure out how much I should let people break my rules before I kick them out of my reality. Or do I just live by my rules at all times no matter what they do.
For the most part I'm associating with a lot nicer people now so it doesn't happen as often. What to do about it when it does happen is my problem. Of course being around nicer people makes life easier and I'm a lot less likely to have to do something I shouldn't to make sure people respect me.
It's interesting living among nicer people but it's also harder in some respects. Heh, mostly because I don't know how to react to what they do. That's not entirely true, I know how to be nice and several girlfriends have told me I get treated the way I do because I'm to nice.
For some reason people take being nice and treating them with respect as weakness. Something to be exploited and used rather than to be respected and treasured. I wonder why that is? Doesn't take some of them long to figure out that my being nice and treating people nicely doesn't mean I'm weak.
It's just to bad they have to learn that the hard way. What they don't understand is I wasn't always a nice person and it's to easy for me not to be nice if I make that choice. Lol, it's what my cousin fears the most.
That I'll go back to being the way I was 25 years ago. It's easy to do that. I know what the rules are in that environment. It's why I'm more comfortable in bars and dangerous places than I am around nice people. All in all it's a lot less tricky environment.
I still do what I want to, when I want to and where I want to but what I want to do is different now than it was before. Maybe I'm finally growing up. I'll still do what I think is the right thing, whether it's legal or illegal doesn't matter. However around nice people life is different. I just need to learn the differences. That's the hard part.
2 comments:
I happened on your blog sort of accidentally tonight (hit "Next Blog" from one I was reading). I read several of your earlier posts and then skipped back to the end.
I know, in my mind, that people are capable of doing the horrible things that were done to you. I just don't want to believe it.
I'm sure you're not perfect, but I think you've done a hell of a job raising yourself into a decent human being. Especially since nobody was willing early on to set you much of an example.
I've been lucky or blessed enough to have an early life very different from yours. But somebody is going to Google some words that apply to them--stressed, depressed, abused, molested--and find this blog. And they're going to see that you survived, and they can, too.
Write that down as a good thing you've done, okay?
Thanks for the kind words. I appreciate it.
I didn't really start the blog to help anyone but me. I know talking about things can help me so talking to the whole freaking world is the way I chose.
Lol, the people who know me don't know this blog exists and the world doesn't know me so it doesn't hurt me if I tell the truth.
Naturally I want other people to read it but I never considered myself as helping other people. I guess if they read it to the end it will help them.
I also know there are people who were abused physically much worse than I was. Mentally I don't think it gets much worse than not being wanted and being told and shown that constantly.
I pretty much raised myself, as a lot of others have, and some people tell me I'm spoiled. Hmmm, I wonder who's to blame for that?
It's cool that I can help others while helping myself. However it's still 11 yrs in the future before I even start to become successful. Then I started my first successful business but only because my father pissed me off.
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