Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Sex, my Cherie Amor. Stressed but definitely not depressed.

Sex and how to deal with it on this blog is going to be something else. Like the beatings and the molestation I'm not going to tell you everytime it happened because it just happened to often with to many different females.

Lol, it's hard for me to write this because of the wording of it and trying to keep it appropriate for anyone to read. In case you hadn't noticed I tend to be a little blunt and tactless at the best of times. The proper wording doesn't elude me, it just sound so cold and sterile.

None of it was cold and sterile. It was mostly always wet, wild and one hell of a lot of fun. There are girls who don't like me anymore nor I them, now, but the sex we had was so good that now and then we could sleep together again. We just can't live together or be a couple.

That's not unusual for me. I had good teachers and I find that getting turned on is a big circle if done correctly. Lol, unlike most men I happen to like a lot of foreplay. I like to tease and contrary to what you might think I'm very soft, sensual and gentle in bed.

I was driving with a couple of guys today, from India, and they wanted to know how many women I'd been with. I didn't tell them but they stopped guessing after they hit 200. They weren't even in the ball park as you'll see later on.

Heh, I probably should have seen a shrink about that too but it was never something that bothered me. Still doesn't bother me but I realized that I was looking for love from any woman that would give it to me. Yeah, yeah, I know, to replace or make up for the love I never got from my mother.

Unfortunately for the ladies I wasn't capable of loving back. Just of breaking up and moving on when I met the next one who excited me. With one exception from the time I was 13 to 36 long term relationships just never worked. Yeah, I know, that was my fault too. WTH you expect with the way I was raised?

The way I was I probably cheated at least twice in even a two week relationship. Sex just seemed to fall into my lap. Pun intended. Still does. I seldom pursue any woman and if I do it's not for long. Mostly they chase me. Probably because I just don't pay much attention to any of them.

I was also a bad boy, the kind your mother didn't want you to meet. Naturally, rebellious girls wanted to be with me. It was just to easy most of the time.

So, anyway, I met Cherie that night. She asked where we could go and I said the only place I knew was my stepfathers car. So that's where we went. It was dark out and no one was likely to pay any attention to us parked in back of the bar.

She took the lead in everything because I flat out didn't know what to do and watching Beaver Cleaver certainly didn't each me anything. Cherie did tho.

She taught me some of the finer points of kissing and we kissed and touched for a long time. Almost to long. At least she was wearing a pair of short shorts and the usual tight sweater. Damn, she had really nice boobs. Oh hell, everything Cherie had was nice.

She gave me my first fellatio in the back of that car. Lol, not that it lasted long. Anyway, eventually we both ended up naked and she was breathing as hard as I was. We touched each other until I just couldn't stand it and begged her to let me have sex with her.

I do distinguish between having sex, making love and plain out hard core screwing. I seldom make love. I doubt I've told 10 women in my ife that I loved them. Maybe half of those I meant it really, the other half I just thought I did. Altho I did really rerealy like some of them.

Back to Cherie and I in the car. I had no clue what to do next so she showed me that too. She got underneath me and I stabbed ineffectively until she finally grabbed it and put it in for me. Then she started moving and it lasted about two whole minutes.

I loved it, it made me feel so close to her and I wanted to do it again and again and again. Lol, here comes the kicker, Cherie told me after we got dressed that we could do it together anytime I wanted. However it was going to cost me a quarter every time.

I could afford it so we spent pretty much every night that we could, together having sex. I couldn't get enough of the feelings or the closeness. It was great. The greatest thing ever. I know now that there are more important things but there weren't back then.

Sure, I still prefer hot, skinny, small breasted chicks in their 20's. Always have and always will but now at my age and health I find her mind to be more intriguing than I do the sex. There's another reason I still get different women without trying to hard at all.

I dated the oldest woman, last month that I'd dated since I was 17. She was all of 40. As silly and confused as most otf the 20 somethings tho. Now I've been semi dating a woman who is 53. We have a lot in common and I like that. She's not as young as I'd like but she understand me with out explanations. She thinks like I do and she's pretty enough for me

I feel like a stupid teenager with her. Don't act like I normally do. She makes me nervous because she's not near as forward as the rest of the girls I know. I actually have to pursue her and I don't really know how anymore. Rejections scares the hell out of me sometimes and this is one of those times.

Cherie and I had a lot of sex together before I moved. She taught me to kiss and I never had a complaint from anyone. Heh, even tho she was charging me a quarter she always made sure she came too. However she was not my girlfriend. Never was. We just had an arrangement we both really enjoyed.

Don't know what happened to her after I left but I hope she turned out okay. Somehow I suspect she turned out about like I did. To bad for her. I hope, for her sake, that she's happier than I am.

Akk the times we were doing it I didn't care about anything else. Heh, I could think of what Cherie and I did the night before, during a beating, and smile while getting beaten. Used to really piss my mother off.

I've never forgotten Cherie getting naked for us and for having sex with me and teaching me some things. The times I spent with her were some of the happiest I'd ever had.


Anonymous said...

You know, I really can't blame you for having sex with Cherie--probably no boy alive would have refused. But I'm a little pissed at you for romanticizing it now. Sure, they're fond memories for you.

But where do you figure, at that point in time (early 1960s?) a girl born circa 1945 got all that sexual knowledge? I'd bet my left eye she was molested too, and picked up the idea that her body was all that was valuable about her. Somebody probably treated her like a whore and she became one. Deny it if you want but that's what you are when you trade sex for money.

One or more of these things happened to Cherie not too many years later: venereal disease, pregnancy, drug and/or alcohol addiction, working as a stripper or prostitute, death, by suicide or otherwise.

Sorry to rain on your happy memory parade.

IMDepressed said...

Hmmm, you're probably statistically right. However I was presenting it from my POV. Considering it had been the best thing that happened to me up to that point.

Molested? Probably. Poor? For damn sure.

Perhaps she ended up as you suggest, perhaps she didn't. I know for a fact I never ended up as everyone thought I would. I'm one of those statistcal anomolies. What happened to her I have no clue.

Pregnancy? Probably, after all she is a female. If she was abused there's a 90% chance she abused her kids. That's sad. It's also why I never wanted kids.

Life ain't always like TV. Good things don't always happen to good people and bad things don't always happen to bad people. Even tho I do my best to make sure it works out that way.

It's possible she's sitting in her rocking chair happily drawing social security and thinking about me. I don't know and neither do you. I do know she wasn't a bad person and in my eyes that's all that counts.

The most interesting thing is that you managed to irritate me. Yep, probably because I romanticized it and you ruined it all. Like I've ever given a damn what anyone thought.

Oh well, you're entitled to your opinion. At least it's politically correct. However being statistically acurrate and PC doesn't make you right. Reality is, like me, you don't know. I try not to make those kinds of assumptions. I just related what happened and you made the assumptions.

Lol, all I can say is you ain't heard nothing, yet.

Thanks for your insightful comment tho. ;) Now I have to figure out why it irritated me.

Anonymous said...

Just because something's PC doesn't necessarily make it wrong, either.

For the record, I hope Cherie had a brief but spectacular career as a stripper, retired as the bride of a very rich and kind old man, and made him very happy for the last month of his life. And I hope she used her vast inheritance to buy a villa in Tuscany, where she's happily tending her vineyards to this day.

IMDepressed said...

Political correctness is just a way for pseudo intellectuals to sugar coat the ugly realities of life.

You remind me of a shrink I saw once who tried to tell me about life yet he had lived with his mother all of his life and he was 60. Lol, go out and live a real life with real people.

As for the rest of your blather, you watched one to many Anna Nicole movies.