Thursday, May 24, 2007

A lot more of nothing interesting in Iowa

I don't really have to many memories of living in Sioux City the second time. Nothing major happened and for me it was just normal.

I did finally grow enough to get on top of the roof that was next to my grandmothers building tho. It was built pretty close and I figured out I could put my feet against my grandmothers bldg wall and my back on the other wall and then work my way up.

I found other places that worked too but this one provided me with a great hiding place and a place to observe what was happening without anyone knowing I was watching. At night it was really nice. Humans, much like animals, don't expect anything to happen from above and I was never noticed.

I still much prefer darkness to daylight. Even inside my house I keep it dark enough that I have to have a lamp on to see in the daytime. Brightness hurts my eyes and gives me a headache.

When we lived at the lake me ex wife, who must be afraid of the dark, demanded a night light outside. So we ended up with a regulation wooden telephone pole with a mercury vapor light on it that lit up about an acre.

Irritated the hell out of me and made me feel less safe than not having the light at all. Why? Because you can't see beyond the circle of light. Without the light I could see what was happening everywhere around the place. With the light all I could see was what was lighted.

She was afraid of her two ex husbands and with good reason. I wasn't afraid of either of them and in fact, they were afraid of me. Lol, helps to have a reputation as crazy now and then.

The other thing I remember about being in Sioux City is I had to babysit my sister one day so I just took her off wandering with me. We were out for hours just messing around like kids do. When we were on our way back home I found a pop bottle and it could be returned to the store for a nickle.

So I picked it up and was already tasting the chocolate donut I was going to get. As we got closer to home my sister told me to give it to her. I said no, wasn't going to happen. She told me if I didn't give it to her she was going to tell her mother I'd hit her and was being mean to her all day.

Whoops, there's an automatic bad beating coming if I don't give her the bottle. Little brat did crap like that all the time. You know I didn't give it to her and when she started hollering at me about it and what she was going to do I threw it down on the sidewalk and broke it.

That really pissed her off and she picked up the broken off neck of the bottle and threw it at my head. I got my arm up in front of my eyes in time and it sliced my elbow open. Bled like a stuck pig. Scared the hell out of her but really pissed me off. She had a really bad temper too and it really pissed her off not to get her way. Lol, still does. To bad, to sad.

My grandmother put two big band aids on it and it was fine. Left a nice scar tho and it's still there.

I don't know why but I seldom notice when I get cut on anything anymore. Been that way for about 25 years now. I helped Tina load the SUV at Sam's Club and when we finished she gasped and told me I was bleeding. About three inches above my right wrist on the outside of my arm and the blood was about to start dripping off my fingers. I never even felt it happen.

Probably happens about once a month and if I'm alone I don't notice it until I get blood on something or feel it running down my fingers or arm. OTOH I do have a very high pain threshold. I wonder if anyone has tested long term physically abused children, as adults, to see if their pain threshold is higher than non physically abused kids.

Funny but when I do have pain that requires drugs I need more drugs than the average person does to kill or minimize the pain. Maybe because I drank so much for so long. I don't know. I just know that I don't like pain of any kind. Mental or physical. I handle physical pain better than mental tho. Mental pain is the only reason this blog exists.

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