COPD, Depression and loss of interest in hobbies or fun

I've had a loss of interest in a lot of things I used to enjoy and a change in other things I never used to do. This loss of interest didn't happen over night but took some time.

I used to love to fish. So much so that it's how I figured out I had a severe drinking problem. I never took alcohol with me to go fishing and only have about 5 or 6 times in my life. I always figured I couldn't do two things well at once.

I had planned to go fishing one night and instead went to the bar. While I was sitting there it came to me that I'd really rather be at the lake so why was I in the bar. It was on a Monday or Tuesday, I remember that because it was one of the deadest bar nights. Yet I was in the bar instead of fishing.

I even have a fishing forum for South Dakota at Fishing Eastern South Dakota Lakes and Rivers tho I don't fish anymore. I still love the idea of fishing just not all the work it takes to get there. It's just way to much effort to go thru all you have to do just to get to the lake and find a place to fish. Can't make myself do it anymore. Loss of interest in doing one of my favorite hobbies.

Food was another of my favorite things. I loved to eat. I loved candy bars and would buy 15-20 bucks worth at a time. A weeks supply. Now I can barely stand it. I used to love junk food, twinkies, ho ho's and that line of junk. Now I can take it or leave it. Just don't care about it at all.

Great home cooked food like my grandmothers or even mine was always good. I can cook a complete Thanksgiving dinner from scratch. I can make pie crust from scratch and I can make really great home made fudge. Mashed potato's and gravy are, were, my favorite. Steak, chops, burgers, you name it I can cook it.

Now the microwave and the frozen dinner section are my favorite place at the grocery store. To damn much work to cook and do dishes. Besides, nothing tastes worth a damn anyway. Most days I have to force myself to eat or remember to. I no longer enjoy food. I hated peanut butter all my life and now I'm eating it 4 times a week or more.

Sex is another thing that doesn't do much for me lately, nor the idea of it. Lol, maybe I should take a vow of celibacy. I've got a good start. Feb 20th of this year was the last time. Funny that I don't miss it more. Probably the damn Zoloft took away the idea. Maybe! Considering it was at least 3 times a week and usually 5 times before and probably two different women.

Now, don't care. Still can, just don't care. It's just to damn much effort to go out and chase women and get involved in all the drama. Besides, sex is work or takes effort.

I loved working on the PC and on the net and now I can barely make myself write this blog 5 days a week. I used to love the challenge of marketing on the net and now it's boring. All I've been doing for the last 8 weeks is reading new stuff about marketing and watching videos about new ways of doing things on the net. I can't make myself go do the work I need to do.

Reading books, as you should know if you follow this blog, was one of my favorite things. Now it takes me a couple of weeks to finish a book. Perhaps because it doesn't hold my interest or I haven't found a book compelling enough to make me keep reading.

The TV was always just background noise while I read or worked. I never really 'watched' TV, it was just on. Now I freaking watch TV and I mean I 'watched' TV. No reading, no working, nothing but TV. I can actually just focus on TV. TV sucks for the most part.

Makes me wonder how much of it is caused by depression, how much by age, how much by COPD and how much by the Zoloft.

Fishing and not doing it is COPD related rather than depression. Can't carry all the things I need to without breathing hard and taking a break. Rather than admit my weakness I stopped doing it instead. That way I can still lie to myself about my COPD.

Food could be age, depression and copd related. The sugar and junk food thing started before the severe depression tho. Heh, just realized I haven't eaten yet today. Arghhh.

Reading I have no clue what it could be. Maybe Steven King and all the authors I like quit writing good books and I'm the only one that knows it. In case you don't know it that was sarcasm. ;)

Sex and loss of interest I'm pretty sure is the Zoloft. Must have taken a long time to build up in my body. That's a prescription that won't be renewed. Don't want and can't stand the thought of being cuddled. Conflicted here because I'm glad it went away but I doubt it's a good thing that it did. Blame it on Zoloft.

Sex being work. COPD! Heh, if I'd have know if was going to mess up sex as much as it has I'd have quit smoking years ago. Having chicks ask if I'm OK is a real downer. Vigorous sex is a thing of the past unless I get to carried away and then it doesn't last long because I have to stop way to soon because I can't breathe. Lol, one asked me if she should call an ambulance. I now explain beforehand that all I need is a couple of minutes to catch my breath I'll be fine so don't ask or offer.

TV? I chalk that one up to age and senility.