How do you deal with good things or caring people?

Some very nice things happened today and I'm not used to it. In particular I'm not used to people being happy to see me or even caring about me. Just a tad bit weird at my age.

I was surprised the 14 month old even remembered me but she tried to climb the counter to get on my side so I could hold her and play with her. Even had a fit when her mother told her I was to tired to hold her.

T said she was having company and I was welcome to come over and eat with them. I probably should have said yes but I didn't. Then she had to tell me everything the baby has done for the last 8 days and how much she missed me after I left. Then I got to hear the story of mom having to drive 60 miles round trip because the cell phone I gave the baby got left in the wrong car and baby threw a fit for 2 days. Lol, typical female. Can't go without her phone.

Then her husband was nice enough to help me carry all of my stuff up to the second floor. Both of them are really great people and the baby is so spoiled. I don't help tho. Baby sits on my lap every morning and plays with me and my glasses and hat, etc. while I have coffee and talk with her mother.

None of this is particularly normal for me so I try to just be nice and polite. It's more normal for me to avoid people, chit chat and all that goes with it. Says way to much about my life that I don't know how to deal with truly nice people. As a rule I'd rather deal with kids as it's more straight forward. They haven't developed phoniness yet and are, at times, to honest or blunt.

When I was about 25 or so I lived with my cousins parents for awhile. I was pretty much a drunk at the time and in trouble most of the time. They'd gotten me a construction job and I was paying them a little bit for rent.

Naturally I was as big a srewup there as I was everywhere else. The rule was I wasn't supposed to drink while I was there. Small problem as every Saturday afternoon the crew went to the bar to have a couple of beers and get checks cashed.

I got out of it the first time but after that I went and because it was a bar and I was a drunk naturally I got drunk. I was big into self medication back then. Lol, one thing I have learned is the doctors have better drugs than alcohol.

Anyway, the next morning when I was getting ready to go to work my uncle called me into the kitchen and calmly talked to me about the rules and explained that my getting drunk wouldn't be tolerated. So I went to the bar with the crew again the next week. I suppose to test to see if he meant what he said.

So we had another talk and he told me how much him and my aunt cared about me and wanted me to do well and be well and this was my last chance. After that he started chewing my ass for almost everything. I deserved it tho as I wasn't helping around the place at all. Just fishing and working.

Then he sat me down and talked to me again about responsibility and helping out and all that normal stuff that I really knew nothing about. I finally asked him why he didn't just leave me alone and he said because he and my aunt liked me and cared about me and it was about time someone besides my grandmother had shown me some caring and concern.

They kept caring and I kept screwing up. Didn't get drunk again tho. I'd have two and leave. I used to be predictable as to how many drinks I could have and still leave the bar. Two was the limit. If I had three I'd be there all night or until I was broke, whichever came first.

Then I got hurt and messed up my vertebrae in my neck and ended up drawing Workman's comp for about 3 months. Since I couldn't work and had money I went and got drunk. My uncle threw me out when I sobered up the next day. We talked first tho and he still wanted to know why I was the way I was and didn't I realize they both cared about me.

I think my reply shocked both of us. It was simply "I don't know how to deal with people who care about me." and I really didn't.

Just like I don't know how to deal with really nice people.

Funny but the girls I go out with have the same problem and that leaves me with the same problem my uncle had with me. I know why they don't believe I care about them and I know the feeling well but I don't understand it in them. I also know they keep doing some of the things they do just to test to see if I will still care about them. Bad part is, I do still care but if I let them get away with it then it just gets worse.

At least I know how to deal with them. Nice or caring people confuse me.