A couple of more stories about abuse and depression

I've got tons of stories of my abuse and my depressions but I'm not going to tell you all of them. Well, at least not today. Today is just more about me being a kid and some of the dumber things I did.

When I was 5 and going to school we'd had a rain for about 3 days. This created a huge puddle in a neighbors yard. All the kids were over there wading in the puddle and having fun. I was forbidden to go over and join them. Lol, you know I did anyway.

I didn't want to get my pants wet so I figured by running thru and stomping down hard I'd make a hole in the water and then get my leg out fast enough not to get wet. Nice plan, I got wet. My dad beat me and had me change clothes and go back outside. Naturally I went right back to the puddle. Naturally I got wet again. Yes, I got beat again even worse than the time before.

For some reason I still got to go back outside. You know what happened. Yep, got wet, got beat and then my mother came home and I got in more trouble. I only had 3 pair of school pants and they were all wet. Naturally my sister had about 20 pairs of pants. So my mother beat me for getting all of my school stuff wet.

When I was 7 my cousin was out to the lake. I loved it at the lake as I could go do my own thing and my parents couldn't hurt me if they couldn't find me. They spent their time in the bar or at the dance hall. Me, I ran and played in the woods, fished and did whatever I could to keep me away from my parents.

Played with some other kids at the lake also. We were all pretty friendly and still are for that matter. All my kid friends parents were at the bar with my parents so it was pretty easy for us to do whatever we wanted to do.

Anyway, one day I was in town, at home, and decided I wanted to go to the lake. As I said before, my cousin was out there. No one would take me so I decided to ride my bike. I knew how to get there and I knew it was a long ways. I also knew there was a big hill.

Now at 7 I had a cast off 26 inch boys bike that I had to ride under the bar because my legs were to short to reach the pedals. If I wore my boots I could sit on the bar and just barely make it work. So I wore my boots.

I headed out for the lake pretty early. Somewhere around 8 AM. As soon as I couldn't see town anymore I got a lot happier about the whole thing. When I went around the S curve I knew the next big deal was going to be the hill. Going down it was going to be one hell of a thrill as I'd never been down a big hell on my bike so I was really looking forward to it.

Going down was as much fun as I expected but getting up the other side was one hell of a long walk pushing a heavy old bike too. I finally made it to the top and continued on my ride. By now I was thirsty, hot and tired and I was just barely half way. I continued on and finally made it to Breezy Point. The guy that owned it knew me so I went in there and got some water.

Then I rode the last two miles to the lake. 10 miles I rode, on a 2 lane, narrow asphalt road, from town to the lake. I was dreading the trip back. Finally found my cousin and her grandparents and we played for a while and messed around. Then they got ready to go back to town. I asked them for a ride because they had an old pickup and could haul my bike.

Yes! A ride back to town. It was another 5 years before I rode to the lake again and the next time it was on a lot better bike and I could pedal a lot faster.

When my dad found out I'd ridden my bike to the lake he took it away and put it up in the rafters of the garage. I never thought of anyone telling my parents what I'd done, never real thought much about making the trip either, just did it. About 10 different people had told my dad they'd either passed me on the bike or had seen me at the lake. Yes, you guessed it. I got beat petty good for that little trip.

No I don't think I should have been beaten for either of these either and I wouldn't do it to a kid but it is what passed for normal in my life. I knew I'd get beaten and I did it anyway. Hey, if ya can't do the time, don't do the crime. The beatings were just the price I paid for being me.

Just another kid who wasn't perfect but still just a kid.