From the bus depot to stealing at the paper office

Things finally ended at the bus depot. We checked periodically to see but the office door was always locked. We were both a bit bummed out about it but I had other places so I didn't really care. Besides, we had scored big the last time so I didn't really need the money.

Reality is I worked enough at so many different things I really didn't need to steal to have more money than most kids my age. So what if I got 50 cents for an allowance. I seldom saw it as it almost always got taken away as punishment for some infraction of house rules.

Lol, when you give people an incentive to do something it accomplishes nothing if you take it away every week. I gave all three of my ex's boys an allowance and they got it every week. They did their chores, lol, with some prompting, every week. I never, ever got mad at them for something and used taking away their allowance as punishment.

That struck me as a lot like having a job and then not getting paid because you somehow irritated or pissed off the boss. Ain't many of us going to go to work and do a job and then not get paid for just irritating the boss. I don't know about you but I'm not going back to work there after the first time I don't get paid.

The boys all had defined chores to do and after they discovered I wasn't going to keep their money usually did them fairly well. They learned that you can't just half ass a job and get paid, that you must do it the way it's supposed to be done and to the standards expected.

They could also earn extra money doing other jobs around the house, 2.5 acre yard, my field and the beach in front of the house. An allowance and extra work is a teaching tool. Used properly it can help kids a lot. Take it away all the time, like mine was, and the kids learn nothing except your parents will screw you over too.

If you can't trust the people who are supposed to love, protect and take care of you, to treat you fairly how the hell can you trust anyone else to do it either. Lol, I learned at an early age life isn't fair and I don't expect it to be. However I try to be as fair as I possibly can at all times.

Just because life isn't fair doesn't mean I can't make my little corner of it as fair as I can. I always strive to be fair to everyone. I don't always succeed but at least I try. If you try to make your little slice of life as fair as you can we will all be better off.

I think I mentioned before that I took some parenting classes because I didn't know that much or have much experience raising kids. I learned some interesting things there and one of them was about fairness.

Funny enough that I thought fair meant equal value but the parenting skills instructor told me that was wrong. Jeremy had wanted a bike so I bought him a bike. Then I was looking for something for the other two boys, in the same price range to keep it fair for all.

She explained that to kids that age that money spent wasn't proof of fairness. That if one of them wanted a 10 dollar toy that was going to make him as happy as Jeremy was with his bike then that was all I needed to get for that one. The fact that it was 50 bucks less didn't matter.

Interestingly enough it wasn't the money that made it fair to the boys but the fact that I bought each of them something they wanted very much. With the instructor educating me all 3 boys were happy and thought they had been treated fairly even tho the money I spent on each was very different.

She also explained that because Jeremy had gotten one bike all the other boys expected was one thing. If I'd have bought 6 ten dollar things for the other two Jeremy would have felt he was treated unfairly because they got six things and he only got one.

IOW what I was supposed to be doing was satisfying wants rather than making them all equal moneywise. If I gave each of them something they wanted, no matter how small the cost they would see it as fair.

Lots of bad stuff happened to me when I was a kid and I did lots of dumbass stuff but when I was involved with anyone with children I made damn sure I never did some of the things to them that really irritated me as a kid. Having my allowance unfairly taken away every week was one of them.

Oh well, off to the paper office next time. Got off the topic again.