My life and why child abuse is so wrong

Child abuse is so wrong because it causes people like me. It hurts people it causes chronic depression and major depression, it causes low self esteem and much more.

One of my jobs at the house I was born in was to haul water from my grandma's house back to my house in a 5 gallon bucket. Damn bucket was almost as big as I was. I was really glad when we moved out of that house.

We moved and finally had running water and a bathroom, inside no less. No more freezing your balls off in the winter. My sister and I finally didn't have to sleep in the same room with our parents. Didn't make it much better because she and I still slept in one room upstairs. Lol, the only room upstairs. Basically and attic with floorboards. Hotter than hell in the summer, colder than hell in the winter.

You might think life got better but it didn't. Now besides taking care of my sister I had to do all the chores around the house. Vacuuming, dishes, garbage and everything else that needed done. I was 6 or so and some of it was just beyond my capabilities. Didn't matter tho because if I didn't do it perfect I got beaten.

So not much had really changed except location. I was still responsible for my sister, I was still being beaten and I was still being sexually abused by my uncle.

One time my parents had been gone for three days, naturally we were left alone, and my sister who was just over three was crying because she was hungry. I'd cooked everything available and there was no food left in the house, not even milk. Hell of a thing when a six yr old is cooking for a three yr old.

We were always given strict instructions when my parents would leave us, that we were to stay in the house, not go anywhere and not tell anyone they were gone. The punishment for committing any of those crimes was to be severly beaten.

My sister was crying so much I didn't see any choice but taking her to my grandma's house so she could eat. Me, I'd be fine but she had to eat. I also knew what the punishment was going to be and I knew it was going to be very, very bad but what was I going to do? Just let her cry until they came home. What if it was a few more days?

It was about 8 blocks to my grandma's house and she couldn't walk that far so I decided screw the punishment and I put her in the old wagon I had. I knew I was going to be hurt but I did it anyway. I pulled her in the wagon all the way to granma's house and told her what was wrong.

She was so mad at my parents if they'd been there she might have killed both of them. Anyway, she fed us and as it was late put us to bed on her big couch. At least my sister wasn't crying and we both had full bellies so life was good at the moment.

Thoe horror was yet to come. A couple of hours later my grandma woke us up and our parents were there. She raised hell with them about leaving us alone and hungry and then we left. I knew as soon as we turned the corner at the end of the alley it was going to start.

I was right! Soon as we turned my mother turned around and slapped me as hard as she could and started calling me names. Then she just kept hitting me until we got home. Once we got into the house my dad started beating me with his belt and I was crying very hard. So once again they beat me until they both got tired of it and I was sent to bed. Once again I tried to kill myself.

I'm so angry writing this I'm shaking. What was I supposed to do? I protected my sister and got the hell beat out of me for it. I suppose to this day it's why I'll always do the right thing no matter what the consequences are to me. That doing the right thing crap has cost me more than a few trips to jail or physical and mental pain or money.

That part doesn't matter though as I still do the right thing, not always the legal thing BUT the right thing. It still costs me and it's costing me today. No big deal though as I can handle it. Heh, there isn't anything I can't handle. I still protect women and kids from others and I guess I always will.

Most good people don't think I'm a very nice person but they don't have a clue. The people that I've helped during my life think I'm the greatest person they ever met. What do I think? Lol, not much as I did what I had to do at the time and that's just how I am. I can live with who and what I am.

Bottom line why child abuse is so wrong is because you end up with people like me who just don't give a damn if they live or die or what happens to them. Prisons are full of people just like me who were abused and just don't care. Society pays for it in the end and thats how that is.